Friendship

My exhortation this morning is that we each do what it takes, in each season of life, to have and keep good friends. I believe friendship — real friendship — is as vital to human life as oxygen or water — not nice, or sweet, or valuable, but utterly essential. [I wonder if you agree.] I believe none of us ever really lives unless we’re known, and encouraged, and challenged, and pursued, and disappointed, and forgiven, and loved by good friends.

It was God, after all, who said — at the very beginning, even before anyone had ever sinned — that it was not good for man to be alone. And then, at the fullness of time, he sent his own Son into the world, not only to be a friend to sinners, but to make and have friends. Jesus could have spent all his time with crowds, but he spent most of his time with twelve men. And then, he turns to all who follow him and says, John 15:14–15,

You are my friends if you do what I command you. . . . I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Even before God came and made friends in the flesh, he knew a profound and mysterious kind of friendship within the eternal Godhead — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit forever loving and being loved by one another.

The Christian gospel is that God himself is our friend in Christ — and he calls us to be faithful friends. Jesus says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Friendship, ordinary as it may sound or feel, is not peripheral or supplementary to reality, but is at the core of who we are and why we exist. It sets us apart in a world desperate for love, for belonging, for friendship. Because humans need good friends to live.

So what is a good friend? In short, a truly good friend is someone who consistently helps you see, enjoy, and obey God. Who does that for you? Who helps you see a little more of God when you’re together? Who helps you hate and kill your sin? Who inspires you to keep serving, keep, working, keep giving, keep loving? Who leaves you wanting more of Jesus?

Do what it takes to have and keep such friends.

They might not be the people you get along with best. They might be older than you, or younger than you. You may not have much in common. Your schedules may not line up as often as you want. Some good friendships will come and go. Some will start slow, and bloom later on. Some will carry us through short, intense trials. Others will walk with us over decades. However God brings them into your life, and however long he keeps them there, make the most of them. You might even make a call or send a text today. Do what you can to have and keep good friends. Let me pray.