Manhood & Prayer
Transcript
Man, I'm excited to talk to you brothers. It’s so good to see so many familiar faces and to know that we share in covenant church life together. Let me pray for us,
Father in heaven, here we come together as men before you're throne and want to hear from you, through your word. Pray for the stirring of your poured out spirit within each of our souls in the inner man, for your pleasure to brood collectively on this gathering by the power of your spirit.
Father, I pray that you would come and speak into our lives as men of prayer and of prayerful action, that you would encourage us where we need encouragement, strengthen our hands for the callings of our life and for our callings as creatures and men and Christians before you. Would you expose fresh areas for growth? Would you inspire fresh ideas for habits that would set us on trajectory that would honor you and strengthen our inner life and make us good men, good husbands, good fathers, good workers? And bless us now as we gather and discuss these matters as well. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.
All right, so we‘ve been doing Hebrews around here over this last year. 2023 is our Hebrews year. So since we’re going to talk about being manful — coming as men before God’s throne — I don't know if there’s a better place to start than Hebrews chapter four and six.
Let me put both passages up in front and draw some principles that would set our trajectory. And then in particular, in these first 20 minutes, I want us to focus on being men, being men before God's throne, with some texts about manhood and prayer, and then we’ll have some discussion time together. In a second pod, we’ll talk about some principles of prayer, then the third pod, some practical applications, some cultivation of habits. And we'll talk about fasting briefly at the end. And I'll give you a couple of articles you could go to on fasting as well. We won’t spend a lot of time on fasting, but it pairs with prayer and I'll show you how that works and we'll finish up like that with some final discussion at the end.
So think about these little groups of each table is like two discussion groups. We're looking for groups of about 3 to 4 to discuss these sections together.
Let's start with Hebrews 4,
Since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession, for we do not have a high priest who’s unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are yet without sin. Let us then, with confidence, drawn near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
So let me start with the manful word in Hebrews 4 — Confidence. Boldness. It’s a theme throughout Hebrews. It’s a theme, especially in the Book of Acts. When we when we did our first sermon series here at Cities Church, nine years ago, it was a series on Acts, and the title was Bold for the Cities.
And we didn't say it like, manful for the Cities. We didn't say this is mainly about men — a focus on men and not women. But there is something particularly masculine about boldness, about this kind of confidence — that's not without weakness. This is not a pretense of strength only. He sympathizes with our weaknesses. And one thing we'll talk about here is: men get on their knees before their God and pray and then get up off their knees, having prayed, and act — prayerfully act — in the strength that he supplies.
Well, let me put it together here with a parallel. These are two parallel passages. You might remember this from our Hebrew study: that the middle of Hebrews is chapters 5 to 10, and then there are these two sentinel guards on the midsection of Hebrews.
This is getting us right into the middle of Hebrews. First, on his person as the High Priest — Melchizedek, Chapter 5-7. Then on his work as the single sacrifice chapters 8-10. So here's the parallel passage now — having gone through the middle of Jesus’s person and work, his priest and sacrifice — he says,
Brothers [and I can speak to you, especially here as brothers], since we have confidence [boldness, manfulness] to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that He opened for us through the curtain that is through his flesh. And since we have a great high priest over the House of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.
All right, so you see the confidence connection. Let me make the couple of other connections for you.
We have — there's the emphasis on our having a great high priest. We have a great priest, since we have a great high priest. We shouldn't overlook this. When he does this little middle statement in chapter 8:1-2 about what I've been saying so far, he says, the point of what we're saying is this: we have a high priest.
So this is first and foremost for us as Christian men talking about prayer. We have a high priest. And he's not just promised anymore. There's not anticipation. We have him right now to enter the throne room by grace. And then there's this encouragement here to hold fast the confession. This is manly work in a world that's pressuring us to jettison the confession — have the confession undermined. The confession of faith that Jesus is Lord, he's our great high priest, he's our once for all sacrificed. This is manly work to hold fast the confession. He's going to echo that down here… Let us hold fast the confession. But it's not only a holding fast, it's not only holding our ground. There's a drawing near and we’re seeing it there. It's about drawing near in praise to the Lord the Almighty.
So let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace. Where's the drawing near? Here. Let us draw near at that connection. And then both of these name our great high priest. My name is Jesus.
Here's a summary: We have a great high priest in Jesus so let's hold fast our confession of Him as our Lord, as our Savior, as our treasure. And then let's draw near manfully, drawn near with confidence.
Now, I think I would apply these two passages in Hebrews two more than prayer, but not less than prayer. These are really good prayer passages. So I'll give you my summary of the means of grace and how we hold fast our confession to Jesus, how we draw near to Him. We draw near, and in hearing his voice in his Word — was that the focus of our our last men’s gathering? Is that right, Mike? Were we focusing on being men of the word? Okay, that’s right.
Our focus this morning then is having his ear in prayer. And then the third critical means of God's grace in our lives is belonging to his body in the Covenant Fellowship.
I want to put prayer in this context because prayer doesn't operate on its own. Like, on the front end, prayer is a response to God's word. We don't just up and pray. When you pray, you do so in light of what you either consciously or subconsciously take to be the vision of God — who God has revealed himself to be, your understanding of who God is, is what you come in prayer with.
So He speaks first. His word comes first. That's the first and foremost means of his grace. Prayer then is our response to his word, our speaking back to him as he's revealed himself. But we don't just stay alone in prayer. Prayer draws us in to being part of this body. And so we'll talk about the corporate aspects of prayer as well.
So for this first session, before we do some discussion, let me give you three key passages that relate prayer to men in particular, not just Christians, but to men.
First one, 1 Peter 3,
Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since they are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.
We’re going to come back through that now. So he's addressing husbands having just addressed wives in verses 1-6. He says to live with them in an understanding way. There's something implicit here. For the husband to live with his wife in an understanding way implies a kind of strength and a kind of gentle application of the strength, not a full release of manly strength at every moment, but an application in gentleness to live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel.
I know all the forces in our society, not all of them, many of them in our society are so egalitarian. They're so pushing toward this equality principle. If you were educated in public school like me or maybe any school, you have been subjected to these impulses in great strength. And as modern men, in the modern world, with our technological innovations and the equalizers of technology — I mean, a woman can shoot you with a gun. You know, there's not hand-to-hand combat any more. Technology equalizes masculine and feminine strength. We don't tend to think about these things very well. It's important for us as husbands, as men, to realize the God given strength — to realize what it means to be a man. And to on the whole, have a bigger body, stronger arms, a certain kind of resiliency of the emotional complexity of manhood that would have a certain role to play in God's complementarian advance with our wives and with women in the church.
So I want to show honor as the woman is the weaker vessel and — here's the complementarian dynamic — not just that she's weaker, but you are heirs together of the grace of life. There's the great place of equality, at the foot of the cross, heirs together in the grace of life. And then he says to husbands, now,
…that your prayers may not be hindered.
What in the world, where did that come from Peter?
So live with your wives in an understanding way — don't be domineering, don't be mindless, live gently with your wife in an understanding way so that … your prayers may not be hindered. What in the world? Where's that coming from?
1 Peter 4 is going to do the same thing. Which is a manful text as well …
“Be self-controlled and sober minded for the sake of your prayers.”
To live and act with particular Christian virtue has an effect on our prayer life. Whether we draw near to him, how in-tune we are with God by the power of His Spirit, and the effectiveness of our prayers. Proverbs 15 gives a glimpse into this,
“…the sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, but the prayer of the upright is acceptable.”
It pleases him. Upright men, honorable men, righteous men, godly men — God's pleased to hear their prayers. I think what's beneath not just this passage, but in some ways 1 Peter seems to me to be a kind of meditation on Psalm 34. I think some 34 is huge in all of 1 Peter. Let me read you a section of Psalm 34, and then a quotation by a commentator here to put the relationship of prayer and righteous, godly, upright treatment, care for our wife.
“The eyes of the Lord, or toward the righteous, and his ears toward their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil to cut off the memory of them from the Earth. When the righteous cry for help the Lord hears.
This is prayer, God hearing — his ears. God hearing. When I cry for help, I want the Lord to hear. I don't want to be among those who do evil and He turns his face from, cuts off the memory of. I want him to hear my prayers.
And he delivers them out of their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
So I think Psalm 34 is underneath Peter's words here. Here's the way Tom Shriner captures it, he minds his scholarly manners with perhaps, but I feel a little more convinced than perhaps. But I want to let you know what he had to say:
God does not bless with his favor those who are in positions of authority and abuse those who are under them by mistreating them.
God does not bless positions of authority who abuse those under them, not just in big organizations, in homes. Perhaps this verse anticipates verse 12 that's coming.
If you got your 1 Peter out, you can see where the Lord attends to the prayers of the righteous, but turns away from those who practice evil.
So husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. It's not a male roommate, it's your wife. The weaker vessel, heir with you of the grace of life. Righteous toward her that your prayers may not be hindered. So there's a warning for husbands and an encouragement toward righteous living and caring well for our wives that has a relationship with our prayer life.
Second text then, 1 Timothy 2:8, 1 Timothy 2 is the famous passage about not permitting women to teach or have authority in the church in corporate gathering. But before he talks to women in verses 9-12 at least and then on, first he talks to the men in the church.
“I desire then that in every place the men should pray. Lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling.”
All right so two parts here. One, he wants the men to pray. Now, I know there are masculine instincts in us — there are natural, sinful, masculine instincts — that would say: I'm a man, I'm a person of agency, I have strength, I work with my hands, I'm practically oriented, I think of solutions. So prayer is against that grain. First and foremost, he says: all right, men, don't leave it to the women of the church to be the ones who work a pattern of prayer into their lives. But you men of action be men who are men of action and agency, but do so in realization of the world that is. Not your pretend world, in your own head and in your sin that says: I act so something happens. When I pray, I'm not acting so I would just prefer acting. He says, let the men pray. This is part of wrestling with the very nature of reality of God is God, we are creatures, Christ has redeemed us, our God in heaven hears because we have a great high priest. So let the men pray. Our men should be men of prayer, and action — but prayer.
And he's going to add some particular encouragement for us as men, warnings here related to our prayer. So the men should pray lifting holy hands, this is a posture of dependance upon God, of calling upon Him. The priest would lift hands to bless, lift hands in praise. Lifting hands is this expression of a heart that is moving Godward, that's open to God and asking for his help. And he says to do so without these characteristic masculine sins. There’s nothing here about modesty of dress for men. That didn't seem to me mainly a concern, it seems, but anger and quarreling are foremost in his mind here in 1 Timothy 2.
So this is from Bob Yarborough. I like to just spell it ‘bro’ at the end, in the context of a men's gathering, he's has a longer spelling, but he's a ‘bro.’
He's a good man. He's a great New Testament scholar.
Here's the explanation,
“Men, ancient and modern, often relish disagreement. [X is a very masculine space.] They love to be right and will go to great lengths to vindicate themselves and disparage real or perceived foes.”
That's a good little reminder there, right? Just remember that some of your foes are real and men have a tendency to perceive foes where they’re not as well.
“Road rage incidents, almost always involving men, offer contemporary illustration. Men are overseeing worship at Ephesus. [talking about first Timothy 2] It is critical that they not be permitted to set a tone of conflict in unholy one-upmanship inimical to the Spirit of Christ by whom worship thrives. Angry men passionate about being right are a primary threat to acceptable worship, as well as to the wider relational dynamics that should contribute to harmony in Christian homes and congregations.”
So we have this bent as men toward anger, toward quarreling. And we should be aware of that as it relates to our prayers, setting the right tone — in our corporate gatherings and in our homes — that have the right spirit toward God in our worship and prayer.
Third text then, 1 Corinthians 11:3,
“I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ.”
Say that first. You have a head. As much as you might emphasize or deemphasized, you’re head to your home. You first and foremost have a head. The head of a wife is her husband and the head of Christ — take this reference to Christ here to be a reference to him in the incarnation in the economic Trinity as he's the God-man — the head of Christ is God.
Verses 4 and following address women adorning themselves properly with the head covering in the corporate gathering. Verse 3 gives a principle for men, husbands, fathers, heads of households that's relevant for our prayers in light of 1 Peter 3 and 2 Timothy 2.
So you have a head in Christ first and foremost. And then as man … there's no command to be head in the New Testament. It's always just spoken as this is the reality. The man is the head of the house. The question is not whether he is, the question is whether he's acting like it or being a good one. Will he be a good head or be a bad head? He is the head of his household and head of his wife, who's helper with him, fellow heir of the grace of life. And there's something to say here about what it means as a head of household, as a husband, as a father, to come before God in prayer and to get up off our knees and act as one of agency in our homes. So a man as husband and or father prays as a head of household with the attendant agency and responsibility.
A wife might pray differently. I think a wife should pray differently. It will be an expression of her feminine nature, of her womanhood, that her prayers will be different related to her husband than how a husband prays for his wife.
Here’s just a taste of it in Ephesians 5 before we discuss. See the asymmetry here… asymmetry between husband and wife, and how this might influence our prayers. Work through this quickly here, thinking of our prayers, and then the particular calling of a dad, of a father, related to his children in the next passage,
“So wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife [as we just said], even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself his Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
So wives submit to their husbands. Not all men, their own husbands. That's going to inform prayer in a certain way. Now for us, husbands,
“Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.”
This is already asymmetrical. There's already a greater burden and privilege here for the men. Looks like he’s got more to say to the men too. Look at all the stuff you got, what twice as much? Three times as much to say to the men. You ready? You got it? Here we go.
“…love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, make her holy, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.”
Brothers, this would be fantastic inspiration for our prayers as husbands. To pray this for our wives, and in our prayer ask the Holy Spirit for tangible steps … How can I do it? How can I live this out today? … in praying for my wife like this.
“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the Church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Husband love wife, wife respect husband. Asymmetrical relationship.
How a wife prays for respect will be different than how a husband prays to love a wife. And how at least to the household,
“…children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right, honor your father and your mother. This is the first command with a promise that it may go well with you and you may live long in the land.”
Fathers, moms drop out at this point. Not that it’s not relevant to them, but there's a primary responsibility that falls here on the dad. So children obey your parents, both of them, love mother and father. Now, fathers, listen up.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.”
This word from Hebrews is provoke. What's the opposite of provoking them to anger? Provoking them to love and good deeds would be one. I mean, the nature of father as head means you can't avoid it. What you do or don't do will provoke your children. Your children will be provoked by you. They are wired by God to be provoked by their father to anger or to love and good deeds…
…but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
I really like the word training here. Bring them up in the training and counsel of the Lord would be my translation there. Bring them up in the training and counsel of the Lord. I think what helps with training is it's not just the negative response of: ope we did something wrong, gotta discipline, discipline but the whole environment. You know, football coaches talk about creating a culture and it's so overdone — all the creating culture language, but it's profound. Like that's what we are doing in our homes, creating a culture that trains our children in a certain direction in how we set things up, what words we speak in, in particular, what you say ahead of time.
Discipline is not just: oh they did something wrong, now I got to deal with it. But way ahead of time you're teaching, you're training, you're dressing, you're trying to shape in a certain direction. The discipline is on the back end of that or punishment or consequence is on the back end. We see we want to train them up, bring them up through training and then instruction would be the verbal part of it.
Discussion
Take like 5 minutes here at your tables, in your pods. Two questions. And you guys, you’re men, you've got your own agency here. If there's something else you're drawn to from the from the slides so far, you can go there in the discussion. Here's two prompts for your minutes around your tables:
1) Coming into this morning, where are your greatest needs for growth as a man of prayer?
2) What challenges and opportunities does being a man, not only as a creature and as a Christian, present to your prayer life?
All right, we'll take a few minutes and then we'll come back.
