Have You Met, Spike?

There’s been a dynamic at play in our household that isn’t new but is very draining. It’s something that I’ve slowly seen creep into our peaceful family life and I know it needs to get corrected very quickly. I’m sure there are a bunch of options circling around in your head as to what it may be, but I’ll see if you can figure it out on your own—it’s good to make your brains do some detective work every once in a while. 

This thing (or mix of things)—lets call it, Spike—entered relatively undetected. Like a very long slow clap coming into our home until now all I can hear is a loud and fast, “Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!!!” I wish I had paid more attention when I first heard the rumbles of the noise but I pushed them aside, writing them off as nothing of any real concern. I see now that that was when Spike began slowly infiltrating our home. And, soon enough, Spike’s presence filled nearly every room and it was clear it had no plans to leave anytime soon. 

Finally, things with Spike came to a head: In the argument between our children about who had more Legos to play with; in the pushing and shoving to make sure everyone got their desired spots at the table; and in my own speech towards my children after my desperately needed moment to catch my breath was interrupted again by the cries of an argument erupting in the living room.

Any guesses who Spike is? I think my last examples gave it away. Spike is all of the sinful emotions that come out of us when we’re frustrated or anxious. Spike is selfish, ungrateful, impatient, argumentative, self-serving, unwilling to listen, rude, unkind, and the list goes on.

The Ketchup Bottle

Do you remember those old glass ketchup bottles that used to sit on the tables at diners, along with the mustard and jam? They were incredibly inefficient unless you gave them a sharp slap on the bottom of the bottle. (Squeeze bottles were a definite win for society!) Anyway, you would be sitting at the table ready to put some ketchup on your plate, you turn the bottle upside-down and nothing would happen. Crickets. Then you would maybe shake the bottle a little more ferociously and again, a tiny little dribble of ketchup water arrives on your plate. By this point the fries on your plate are smelling so delicious that all you need is a little ketchup to complete the sweet-salty notes on your palate that you crave so, BAM! You whack the bottom of the bottle and a mountain of ketchup floods onto your plate.

At a conference I was at many years ago the speaker painted this picture and then brought it home as amazing analogy of our sometimes spiky human condition. You see, the ketchup (our ugliness, sin, impatience) is always inside the bottle, aka us. We’re chuffing along life fine until we get bumped or jostled and a little bit of our selfishness comes out; then, a little later, we receive a sharp thud from life and all our ugliness comes pouring out. Have you ever felt that?

I suspect that 2020 has shaken, smacked, and squeezed all of us in various ways. And, if you’re anything like me, what comes out often isn’t pretty.

We Need Help

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:2–5).

I’m so grateful that we’re not left alone in our sinful attitudes. We have a God who will not leave us stuck in our sin but one who is gracious and willing to come to our aide when we ask him for help. Ask God who gives generously to all without reproach! Or, said another way, pray to the Father, he loves to help! God is so generous to us that he gave us a part of himself when we believed in him, and continues to give us the gift of his spirit day-by-day. We are never alone in our sin and messiness, we need only to ask for the spirits help. 

The Walk

“Spike” can look different in whatever situation you’re in but the solution is always the same: ask Jesus for help. When you feel jealousy rise up over your friend’s new relationship, ask Jesus for help. When the world seems so uncertain and scary, ask Jesus for help. When a colleague gets recognized again for something while you go unnoticed, ask Jesus for help. When you envy another mother’s children who seem so well behaved, ask Jesus for help. When anger rises up in you after your family messes up your freshly cleaned home, ask Jesus for help. 

Take a look at this list of attributes; pride, greed, envy, lust, anger, impatience, enmity, rivalry, idolatry, jealousy, quick-tongued. Now hear their counterparts; kindness, gentleness, joy, patience, love, goodness, self-control, peace, faithfulness. Now, do you know how we get from point A to point B in this situation? Only by God’s help. Galatians 5:16 says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Another way of saying it is, keep in step with the Spirit.

When Nick and I are walking with the kids, one of us is always leading the route. We are walking in sync as a family but it’s one of us parents subtly leading the kids in the direction we should be headed. We know how to avoid potholes that could be tripped on, and where the angry hornet’s nest is hidden, while keeping them on the path and away from oncoming traffic. 

Yes, the kids are walking with us, but we are guiding their steps. And that’s what life in the Spirit is like. You’re walking in step by your Spirit-empowered obedience to the Word of God, always being lead and protected by God. 

I’m thankful beyond-words for the indwelling Spirit of God—what an amazing gift he is—and I know as I walk in dependence upon him he will chase away the remaining Spike in me.