The Art of Meaningful Gift Giving
The gifts we give each other cannot possibly compare to the way God gives to us, but, as followers of Christ, we strive to do as he does—to be generous and gracious in our gifting. We strive to love the receiver with the love we have received.
Jesus Is the Greatest Gift Giver
God’s gifts are innumerable and extravagant. He’s given us a wild and fascinating world to explore (complete with beautiful sunsets and soft puppies and monsters and danger and creatures strange beyond our imagination). He gives food that tastes good and the ability to taste it. He gives without our asking, and that’s a grace, and sometimes he makes us ask, and that’s a grace too (“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Luke 11:13). He gives us rest, knowing our souls are safe with him. Most astoundingly of all, he gives us himself. Good gifts given in love mirror his sacrifice.
Meaningful Gift Giving
What does it look like to practice Christ-like love in our giving? As you prepare a gift I encourage you to consider these five questions:
Does your gift honor God?
Does it honor the recipient?
Does it represent your love and affection for the recipient?
Will it be a burden to them?
What is the state of your heart in the process of giving? Is it joyful or begrudging?
Whether or not the receiver of your gift is touched or grateful, when you set out to honor Christ in the process your gift is acceptable to him, which is far more important.
Think of gifts you have received in the past that have been most meaningful to you. What made them so special? The most meaningful gifts I have received have been ones in which time, thought, and care have been invested in the choosing and presenting—when the giver made the effort to get to know me well and took into account my sources of joy and my personality. They have made me feel truly seen. Being seen by others reminds us that we are seen by God, who loves, sees, and gives better than anyone.
Years ago I taught a friend to knit and mentioned in passing that knitters never receive knitted gifts. A couple of months later she presented me with a dishcloth that she had knit for my birthday, folded up in a mason jar with a flower stuck in it to look like a potted plant. It had taken her weeks to make. She knew I could easily make one myself, but did it anyway because she wanted me to feel loved.
Before my father-in-law died he drew my husband’s name in the annual Christmas gift exchange. When James (my husband) requested a book on theology which Jay (his father) did not agree with, Jay purchased the book for him, but also purchased a second book directly contradicting it. He wanted to be sure his son knew both sides of the argument and would be well informed. I’m certain this was a huge sacrifice, as finances were very tight for him at the time. Generosity is not confined to numbers.
Creating Perceived Value
When you put effort into presenting a gift as though it is something special then it becomes something special, regardless of the monetary value of the item. The presentation is part of the gift. This might mean extra care taken in wrapping, a carefully written note attached, or holding back until a special time to present it. The time taken to present a gift thoughtfully communicates your regard and affection in ways words—or even the gift itself—might not.
Gifts Can Hurt
There will be times when a particular gift is not appropriate, or when any gift is not appropriate. There may be cultural pressure to reciprocate, or perhaps the relationship between giver and recipient may not call for a gift (such as a very distant relative or casual acquaintance). A gift which is extravagant, impractical, or contrary to the wishes of the recipient may make them feel uncomfortable and cause strain in the relationship. In the example of Jay and James gifting a contradictory pair of books was perfectly fine because their dispositions allowed for it (in fact, their analytical Nelson-hearts rejoiced at the idea of a friendly debate), but that might not be the case for everyone. Other people might have found it offensive or distressing. Consider prayerfully before you give a gift, and if you are not sure it would be welcome it’s okay to ask.
Glorify God in Your Gifting
God is so kind to give us the ability to create relational exchange through the giving of gifts—a unique emotional connection which often means more than words can say. What an honor to do as he does. As we prepare gifts for our friends and families throughout the year I pray that God would give us wisdom and insight for the choosing and presenting, that he would use our gifts to ease strife and create lasting bonds of love, and that in all our gifting we would honor and glorify him.
Meaningful Gift Ideas
Meet a need or desire
While surprises and superfluous items are a lot of fun sometimes meeting a known need or want may more welcome.
Gifts of food
Edible gifts include hot meals, cookie, pancake, or soup mixes in a jar, custom spice blends, homemade vanilla extract (not last minute), decorated cookies, or a selection of your family’s signature baked goods (just don’t forget to take into account dietary preferences).
Gifts of service
Consider offering your time instead of a material gift. Shovel snow off your neighbor’s driveway, babysit, help out with yard work or household chores, or spend time with someone lonely.
Handmade gifts
If you’re crafty (even if you only wield a hot glue gun) there are a lot of “pinteresting” options out there. Here is a list of stuff to glue to other stuff.
Personalized gifts
Check out this article by A Mother Far From Home for a lovely and unusual gift she gave each of her kids and this list of sentimental diys from Leap of Faith Crafting.
Tips for Wrapping a Gorgeous Gift
Wrap on a clean, hard surface. If your gift is not box-shaped enough to wrap consider putting it inside a spare box (cereal box, shipping box, household product box). If it is simply too odd shaped for a box, opt for a bag instead.
Crease corners and edges.
Swap out the plastic bows for a binding such as ribbon, fabric strips, twine, yarn, or washi tape, and choose the width of the binding according to the size of the gift (large box/wide ribbon).
Add a “third piece”— a special embellishment which completes the look of the gift in addition to the wrapped gift and binding. Try a pinecone, a sprig of herbs, a small ornament, a twig, a wildflower, or just about anything else you may have on hand. Tie the embellishment into the binding or tape discretely underneath.
Wrap unusually: Wrap with fabric or a thin scarf instead of paper. Label or draw on matte wrapping paper with a metallic sharpie. Adhere small objects the outside (plastic dinosaurs, toy cars, pompoms, candy, etc). Turn your gift into a diorama. Wrap in multiple layers and boxes to increase the suspense.