The Only Way Out Is Through
Should emotions such as sorrow, grief, and anguish be assuaged simply with a greater belief that God works all things together for good (Romans 8:28)? It is tempting to believe that negative emotions are something to be avoided in the lives of mature Christians. But even a brief look into the life of Jesus tells us otherwise.
Jesus experienced a wide range of human emotions in his 33 years on earth. Since he had an unwavering belief in his identity as the Son of God and his purpose—to save sinners—he was free to experience the full gamut of human emotion, just like we do. Even with the influence of sin, emotions are the language of the soul. It is necessary to feel and then interpret our feelings in order to grow in our relationship with God.
Jesus did not simply pray his emotions away. At the same time, his emotions never determined whether or not to obey the will of his Father, even in the most confusing and painful times.
Jesus Wept
When Jesus heard that his friend Lazarus was ill, he intentionally stayed where he was for two additional days before going to him. Jesus said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God” (John 11:4). But Lazarus died. When Jesus saw the friends and family of Lazarus weeping, he was “deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.” Jesus wept over the death of his friend, even though he knew that he would soon raise Lazarus back to life. The soon-to-be Conquer of Death was not immune to death’s sting.
The deepest belief that God works all things together for the good of those who love him does not and should not stop our tears from falling. The world is not as it should be. And Jesus has experienced first-hand the death of a loved one, betrayal, and broken relationships just as we do. He is not a God who is far away from our sufferings, but one who willingly suffered for us. May we run in our deep disappointments and losses to the sweet embrace of our Father who keeps count of our tossings and puts our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:6), as Jesus did.
Jesus Anticipated the Cross
Jesus said to his disciples, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death” (Matthew 26:38). He knew what was coming. Jesus knew that in just a few short hours he was to be forsaken by his Father. In his agony, Jesus leaned in and fell on his face in gut-wrenching prayer. He prayed, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39). Jesus acknowledged his feelings in complete honesty to his Father in his question: Is there was any other way, God?
Just as Jesus cried out in his deepest distress, so should we. Allow your soul to scream when needed. Don’t skip this part. Avoiding crying out brings no real comfort and prevents intimacy with God.
But Jesus’s agonizing prayer does not stop here. He continues, “…nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Even when his soul is screaming, he submits to his Father and moves closer to the cross. Crying out without eventually surrendering to God and trusting in his love for you will leave you stuck. Emotional and spiritual health requires allowing our soul to scream out to the Lord, but also praying, “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will,” as Jesus did. Both parts are necessary.
Pressing On
We are free to feel the full weight of even our “negative” emotions. Jesus does not pray his emotions away to avoid dealing with them, and neither should we. There is no short-cut — the only way out is through. And we walk side-by-side with our Savior. Only then are we able to be comforted and move forward in obedience, trusting in the unwavering promises of God.