Social Media: Logging Out
I survived. No really, I did. Three years ago, I deleted my social media. No more Facebook. No more Instagram.
I was living in China at the time. It was the last year of my five year season teaching English and studying Chinese. Facebook and Instagram were two ways I felt I could keep up with what was going on in the US. Although social media was something meant to make me feel more connected to people, it actually made me feel more distant. The longer I stayed in China, the harder it was to relate to the people I saw on the screen.
After some time, I realized that I would mostly just feel lonely, angry, or judgmental after scrolling through the page.
Why isn’t my life more like that?
Why does she seem to think we should see a picture of her every single day?
Why does everyone need to know that you just bought your groceries?
I decided to delete it permanently.
At first, it felt strange. I had never really been obsessive when it came to checking my accounts, but after I deleted it, I still felt the impulse to check Facebook whenever I was on the computer working on something. Then, I remembered that I had deleted it, so I would leave my computer and do something else with my time.
When I moved back to the States that summer of 2018, it was a huge transition, but I was excited to build friendships with people in Minnesota again. Although that year was a big change, I did make friends, and it even happened without Facebook. More than that, I feel freed up. Let me share several reasons why I have chosen to log out of social media.
1. I believe we were meant to live in community with those around us
Facebook can sometimes distract us from that. Although now I’m often not in the “know” anymore when it comes to announcements, marriages, births, and big life transitions, I’m not sure we were meant to be updated at all times on the lives of everyone who we’ve ever been friends with. If I didn’t know that someone had a baby without social media, was I even close to that person anyway? I found it was easy for me to feel distracted seeing people from different times in my life all on the same page. I didn’t have the capacity to follow up with them. Facebook allows us to keep up with contacts passively, instead of reaching out intentionally, Skyping, going out for coffee, or grabbing a meal together.
2. When we spend less time online, we open our eyes to the people around us
This might mean that you’re going deeper with a few friends rather than broad with many. One of my biggest hurdles in the transition back to the States was the fact that everyone lived so far away and needed to commute up to thirty minutes sometimes just to see a friend. I was changed by living with a team overseas all of those years. Our team celebrated holidays together, worked together, played together, explored together, cried together; I saw my teammates almost every day. It was hard for me to find a “team” in my new very distracted, broad social American environment. In time, I found the people who had natural overlap with me and started reaching out.
3. My friendships feel more focused now
Most of my time goes to my family, my coworkers, and my small group. Although Covid has interrupted some of these natural rhythms, I feel I am able to care for people better by giving them more of my mental and emotional capacity. I encourage you to initiate with the members in your small group outside of your regular meeting time. I believe that the stronger our relationships are with our Christian community, the more natural it is to be on mission together for the advancement of the Gospel.
Hebrews 10:23-25 says, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” I believe that although it is not impossible “to stir up one another to love and good works” through social media, in my experience, it is more powerful in person.
4. Having margin in your life allows for more natural friendships
If you have every day for the next month all planned out, it will be hard for you to be present for unexpected interactions with people in your life. Having margin helps us open our eyes to people we wouldn’t have noticed before. The next time you’re at the grocery store, look the cashier in the eye and ask how his/her day is going. Say hi to the person you’ve ended up sitting by in church for the past few weeks. Go for a walk in your neighborhood and just see what happens. Covid has allowed for more people to get out of their houses and walk around their neighborhood. You never know what conversations might happen.
5. Don’t be afraid of silence
When we are waiting for something for five minutes, what do we typically do? We pull out our phone to pass the time. Next time, when you have the impulse to resort to that distraction, try to use that five minutes for something else.
You could say hi to the person next to you. You could pray for someone. You could recite a memory verse, you could people-watch and be aware of your surroundings. Silence is a great gift. It allows us to deal with our rambling thoughts; it helps us process what’s happening instead of numbing ourselves through the distractions on our phones.
In conclusion:
You might not agree with everything I’ve said, and that’s okay. I’m not against all technology, and I have a Smart Phone with several apps. I do believe that social media can be an amazing tool to help people connect; he is even using some of you specifically in that sphere.
Others of you, maybe you find yourself logging in a little more than you’d like to during this difficult Covid season. Perhaps it’s time to take a break. Is there someone you can reach out to intentionally through a phone call, if not in person? Maybe others of you have felt unhappy with social media for a long time and just need the push to get rid of it. I’m not here to tell you that it is a word from God to delete it. What I do encourage you to do is to seek the Lord and bring this area of your life to him. If you do decide it’s time to log off permanently, just remember...I survived, and you can too!